When it comes to reality shows, I need absolute chaos to stay invested. If I tune into “The Bachelor” franchise, I won’t remember anyone’s name unless they’re causing drama and trying to fight people (we’re looking at you, Chad). It’s probably why I love hockey so much. I’m just here for the unpredictable mayhem.
While there are plenty of wild contestants and arcs in American reality TV shows, British reality TV hits different. Everything from the premises to the execution is unhinged in a baffling way that you just can’t look away from.
Given the output of media we’ve collectively consumed in the past few decades, it makes sense that mundane reality shows wouldn’t hit the spot. We use TV and film to escape our own lives and focus on someone else’s drama when we’ve had enough of our own. Between shows like “Hunted” that turn civilians into fugitives or dating multiple copies of "your type" on “Game of Clones,” here are some of the wildest British reality shows I've ever seen.
'Hunted'
Who needs fictional procedural shows when your life can become one? Channel 4's “Hunted” is a series for all of the couch critics who think they can either catch criminals or commit better crimes than the ones they see on TV — whether it’s a true crime documentary or a procedural. Me? I’m all for some investigative work (it comes with the journalism territory), but I have absolutely no desire to play ‘escaped convict’ with a bunch of trained hunters. But those who don’t do, watch.
The dozen-plus participants in the show aren’t just doing it for kicks, though; there's £1000,000 on the line for the potential winners to split. So, who exactly are the “hunters”? Between professional investigators, hackers, and former cops, the fake fugitives have their work cut out to make it on the run for nearly a month in the Jonathan Smith-narrated series. Sometimes, you forget that participants are real (unqualified) people and you’re not watching an episode of “Prison Break,” making the stakes of this wild ride exponentially higher.
Watch on Tubi (free in the U.S.) or Channel 4 (free in the U.K.)
'Rich House, Poor House'
The title may be self-explanatory, but that doesn't make “Rich House, Poor House” any less of a baffling concept. On the one hand, the attempt to raise awareness about the ever-increasing financial divide in the UK is commendable. Yet sensationally doing so by swapping people’s lives is pretty uncomfortable to watch. Claire Collinson-Jones created the ongoing show in 2017, while Craig Kelly narrates.
Participants at polar opposite ends of the economic spectrum trade houses and lifestyles for one week to “see how the other half lives.” Then, after the week is up, the millionaire family will often do a small “good deed” or two for the struggling family like buying them a laptop to feel like they’ve made a difference.
As far as outrageous reality shows go, it’s not the wildest concept out there. However, it’s pretty rough to watch one-percenters step into the shoes of real people in poverty like it’s some twisted vacation and then play the hero by offering up some small token or opportunity that’s supposed to magically change their lives. If it were that easy, poverty wouldn’t be such an epidemic.
Watch on Channel 5 (free in the U.K.)
'Naked Attraction'
Uhhhh, honestly, who on Earth asked for this? Take the concept of “Love is Blind” and reverse it and you have “Naked Attraction.” Yup, this dating show doesn’t care about contestants’ personalities. Superficiality is quite literally the name of the game in this show that gradually reveals participants’ naked bodies before the contestants looking for love (lust) make their final choice. And yes, at this point, they’re also naked.
Listen, if I wanted to watch a bunch of horny, superficial, and judgy people go on a quest for relationships that will last all of five seconds, I would go back to high school. As it stands, I’ve developed a modicum of self-preservation from that time of my life. Given that the Anna Richardson-presented series has been around since 2016, people must miss the cutthroat hierarchy of cafeteria life. And hey, to each their own. If watching randos bare it all to get judged by bangability on TV does it for you, then you do you. Everyone on the show is a consenting adult and signed up for this chaos.
Watch on Max (in the U.S.) or Channel 4 (free in the U.K.)
'Spring Break With Grandad'
You’ve heard of “Girls Gone Wild,” but have you heard of “Spring Break With Grandad”? It’s possible the series was inspired by Zac Efron’s movie “Dirty Grandpa,” which came out one year before the baffling British reality series. The sole season centers on eight twentysomethings who go to Cancun to party with their grandparents and compete to keep the fun times rolling.
Naturally, when the young contestants aren’t corrupting their grandparents (or is it the other way around?), they’re embroiling themselves in hookups and love triangles. Anyone who’s ever been to camp knows that you have to leave vacation partnered up, per the holiday bylaws. Yet it’s not just the younguns who let their freak flags fly in this show — for better or for worse.
Ultimately, “Spring Break With Grandad” is very much a short-lived product of 2017 that feels like it should stay there. However, there is somewhat of an unexpected charm to the concept and seeing the love between the grandkids and their grandparents despite the mildly uncomfy setting. My own grandpa was an absolute riot (his bingo trash talk was legendary), but I never got the chance to drink with him. So I can understand the show’s ‘party while you still can’ appeal, as odd as the final product may be.
Buy on Apple (in the U.K.)
'Gogglebox'
We’re now at the point in pop culture inception where watching TV of people watching TV is considered entertainment. Since 2013, the British show “Gogglebox” has somehow been captivating audiences by plopping TV’s most intense couch critics, well, on their couch to comment on the best and worst TV offerings from that week.
And listen, to some extent, I get it. As someone whose job it is to review and critique TV/film, I get just as annoyed as everyone else at some of the most highly-lauded pretentious reviews that can make or break the success of a film/show.
The number of times critics go into rom-coms or the latest superhero flicks with the same judgment scale as Oscar hopefuls is infuriating. We need more critics who judge the release based on its intended audience and genre rather than solely on personal preference or whether or not it’s award-worthy. Not every movie or show is meant to be award-worthy, and that’s OK. Something doesn’t have to be made specifically for you in order for you to say, objectively, whether or not it achieved what it set out to do.
So, I understand the appeal of having your average everyday TV fan provide critical commentary for new episodes. However, the 50-minute series can get quite dull when you’re watching someone’s reaction without getting to see the source material. Yet the Craig Cash-narrated show is still going strong over ten years later, so they must be doing something right.
Watch on Channel 4 (free in the U.K.)
'Game of Clones'
Dating eight people who look exactly alike based on a computer rendering of your “type” sounds like a dystopian hellscape that I would want absolutely no part of. “Game of Clones” offered hopeful singles exactly that in 2017. To each their own, I guess.
The series, which only lasted a single season, prompted participants to move in with eight lookalikes and eliminate them one by one until only one person was left. If that sounds like a horror film to you, you’re not alone. It’s creepy even watching these identical non-twins interact on the screen wearing the same clothes. I can’t even imagine being in the same room with them let alone going on dates. Unsurprisingly, the show only lasted one season. More surprisingly, it spawned quite a few spinoffs of the original concept.
Watch on Channel 4 (free in the U.K.)
'Just Tattoo of Us'
As someone with three tattoos and loose plans for at least three more, I love a well-designed and expertly executed tattoo. I have gone to dozens of shops to look through art books and speak to artists about my ideas to find the right artist with excellent line work. It is physically painful when I see tattoo newbies excitedly share a brutally executed tattoo with choppy linework and even worse coloring knowing that at some point, they’ll probably regret it.
With that being said, the concept of “Just Tattoo of Us” is basically my worst nightmare. Two people design tattoos for each other, and they can’t see the final product until it’s inked on them forever. Even worse? Bad intentions on either side are allowed, so it’s not even always a good-faith attempt to get your bestie a tatt they’ll love forever.
The horror of watching a guy get a Donald Trump tattoo on his butt is only eclipsed by the fact that he actually liked it. For some of the contestants, I have a feeling that they were sad that my favorite tattoo show, “Tattoo Nightmares,” wasn’t still on the air in 2017 when “Just Tattoo of Us” debuted. Jasmine, Tommy, and Big Gus could definitely help fix these messes with impressive cover-ups. Now, that’s not to say that the tattoos in the British show were poorly executed. It’s just the subject matter that leaves a lot to be desired.
Buy on Apple (in the U.K.)
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